


Big Bro

by Brit_In_Space



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Spoilers for manga, Titan Shifter!Reader, Titan Shifters, and anime I guess, once more, spoiler warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4782185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brit_In_Space/pseuds/Brit_In_Space
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You thought you could trust them, the people, the friends you had grown up with. But now the fog hanging in your memories was thining and you were finally starting to see the truth.<br/>In fact, They weren't your friends, they weren't your family, they were monsters. As are you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Bro

Were did he go? Where is he now? What's even going on!

Everything's falling apart, Eren was fighting the armoured titan and you were utterly lost in the battle.

"Reiner! Bertolt!" You screamed for your childhood friends, well unless they hated you, Reiner hadn't spoken to you since Annie was called the Female titan. Did he blame you somehow? You didn't know. Suddenly your wires snapped as you were sent plummeting into the ground, you screamed on impacted as the ground began to rumble beneath you, looking up you met the eyes of a titan.

"N-no..." Its hand clamped around your body as it squeezed the air from your lungs, you cried Reiner's name more desperately as you neared death. As a last resort, you jammed your blade into the titan's thumb, seething it as far as it could, until it hit the bone. The monster roared as its blood seeped into your clothes; as soon as you hit the bone you jerked the blade towards you as it tore through the skin. However, it only caused the titan to grip you harder as your vision blurred over.

"Were....are....you....Rei..n...er?" You asked as your vision finally went blank.

__________

{ 9 years ago}

[You = 8 years old]

[Reiner, Annie, Bertolt = 11 years old]

You sat on a crate next to a toy stall; you sniff back tears as the owner yelled at you about not serving your 'kind'. You didn't know what the man meant but nodded anyway, you stared at the ground the whole time, not daring to look up, the man saw the tears trail down your face as he backed down a little and looked away.

"Anyway...don't come back here again, now scram!" He pulled you by the collar and semi-threw you into the dirt. People crowded around the scene murmured, your tears fell into the dirt as you just stayed there, you didn't know why people treated you this way, you, Reiner, Bertolt and Annie had been cast out for some reason, and people hated you. Suddenly someone pushed through the crowd.

"_____?" It was Bertolt, you looked up at the three of them with teary eyes, Reiner knelt beside you and wiped the tears from your face.

"What happened?" He asked, his eyes shone with a slight anger as he help you up, by now the crowd had gone, but people still watched the four of you with fear. You hiccuped slightly as you told them what happened.

"A-and then he t-told me to g-go..." Bertolt hugged you as Reiner rolled up his sleeves, Annie just stood there glaring at every man, woman or child that glanced at the group of you. As Reiner went over to the man Bertolt tried to calm you down.

"You've wanted that stuffed bear for a while haven't you?" He asked as you nodded, he smiled weakly and put a hand on your head.

"I could make you one if you want." He said as you shook your head, Bert was good at sewing and usually made you stuffed animals and such, but no, you had your heart set on this one; it even had a trainee jacket on and a blue ribbon around its neck. You'd been saving up for months, by helping around the house and help your younger sister with her homework.

"Why do you want it so bad?" Annie asked as you looked down.

"Don't laugh at me but....it reminds me of big bro..." The three of you stood in silence.

"Big bro?" Bertolt asked.

"She means Reiner." Annie stated as the blond came back with the bear, your eyes shone as you ran up to him and hugged him tight. You let go as he handed you the bear, smiling slightly. He'd always seemed to act like a brother around you since your father never spent time with you.

"Thank you big bro!" You laughed as you clutched the bear.

"No problem ______"

__________

You couldn't see, you couldn't hear....you couldn't feel or do a thing. Were you dead? Or worse, inside a titan. You tried to say something but nothing came out, your heart beat slowed as breath left your body, you were going to die...a pathetic and forgotten death. When you were about to give in when you heard a voice.

"Cadet _____! Can you hear me?!" It was squad leader Hanji.

Maybe I won't die today...

__________

Your eyes opened slowly as you left the darkness that had confined you, you had no idea where you were but Hanji was instantly by your side.

"Cadet _____?" She asked as she took your hand, you grunted slightly, you had no energy to talk right now. She smiled.

"You still seem pretty weak but the commander insisted to talk to you once you'd woken up. I hope you don't mind?" You nodded slightly as she helped you into a sitting position as commander Erwin walked into your ward.

"You're ___ _____ from the hillside village. Are you not?" You nodded as Hanji left, leaving you alone with the blond, you heard Hanji lock the door behind her.

"I'm sure you know about the titanshifters and Annie Leonheart. Don't you?" You gave him a confused. Clearing his throat, Erwin continued.

"You grew up with her I believe, along with Bertolt Hoover and Reiner Braun." You didn't understand what he was getting at. Did he need information? Stuff about Annie? What?

"Um...Commander, I er...I don't understand." You look at you as he held his gaze.

"Did anything strange happen in your past? People doing things to you? Memory loss? People Hatingyou?" Your eyes grew wide, was he calling you a titan shifter?! You began to stutter.

"S-sir a-are you imp-plying what I t-think you're i-implying?! T-titan hifters?!" You yelled as he looked down at the floor.

"Yes I am, the four of you were the only ones that came from that village and those three are confirmed titan shifters. The only one we don't know about is you." Your mind went blank, Reiner, Bertolt, titan shifters? Your eyes welled up; bringing back memories you wished to forget.

__________

[You = 11 years old]

[Your sister = 7 years old]

"Then you just add that number to that number and multiply them together." You were helping your sister with her homework as you both sat at a table; you each ate lunch as you continued to work. Suddenly you mother burst in from the garden, dropping the washing everywhere.

"Where's your father?" She asked short of breath, you shook your head, not knowing. Your father was never around, he was always 'working'. Yeah, right. He was probably just out drinking and doing drugs. You sighed at the thought. To make things worse, you had to look after your sister most the time because your mother was a coward, for some reason she hated you. She'd slap you if you were even in the same room as her and call you a monster, at first it hurt but now it was nothing more than a bother.

"Whatever!" She yelled, suddenly the ground began to rumble as noises could be heard in the distance, your sister whimpered quietly, tugging on your shirt.

"What's going on?" Her eyes watered up as your mother suddenly grabbed you both.

"(S/N), Get out of th-!!!" The roof suddenly gave in behind her, the loud thudding getting louder and nearer to the house. Your mother screamed as her leg got caught, she grabbed your hair as you tried to run.

"Don't leave me!" She screamed, you tried to free yourself but she old gripped tighter.

"Your father made a mistake! He made a monster! If I die, you're coming with me!" She wept; you had no idea what she as yelling at, you knew she was unstable, but this? Your sister just stood there shaking, your eyes widened as a titan came into view behind her, as a last resort you reached for a pair of scissors.

"I'm sorry mother!" You yelled as you cut your pony tail, the band snapped as you grabbed your sister's arm and your stuffed bear, dashing out the door, your mother's screams and pleas deft to your ears.

The titan followed behind you and deep down, you knew you'd never out run such a beast, it arm crashed down right beside you as you hugged your sister, you both screamed as you hit the floor, you reach for your bear as it tumbled but you only managed to grab the blue ribbon around its neck.

"S-sis...I'm scared." You picked the crying girl up as you started running a fast as your legs would carry you, your eyes widened, the gate, you were almost there.

"Hey, we're gonna make...!!!" You looked behind you, you saw your sister but then you also saw a huge titan behind her, it had armour all over its body, the soldiers in front of you just ran, but one man grabbed you, pulled you from your sister.

"HAH! No take her! NOT ME!" You screamed but the man ignored you as he used his 3dmg to get away, your sister looked up at you as you yelled for the man to put you down, but she wasn't crying, she was smiling. Why? You thought. She's going to die! Tears streamed down your face as you looked away, hearing wall Maria smash. You looked back at the armoured titan with hate...

"I'll kill you..." You whispered silently.

__________

"-det _____! Cadet _____!" Erwin put a hand on your shoulder making you jolt out of sub-consciousness, your eyes grew wide as you remembered the situation, you brought a hand to your forehead.

"Which one..." You muttered, as the commander gave you a confused look.

"Who was the armoured titan?" The blonde's expression darkened, you had a feeling about the answer and dread filled your mind. The commander took your hand as he looked at you with sad eyes.

"I can't tell you that." You bottom lip quivered as your hands shook.

"W-why?! Was it him?! Is it-." The commander stood up as he turned to leave.

"Let Hanji tend to you and then we'll see whether you're a titan or not." He said it so casually as you hugged your knees, you couldn't bring yourself to think about it, was it Reiner? Back then, did he know?, if so that'd mean he'd known all along that he'd killed your sister. Why didn't he say anything? Do anything? Feel anything? Your heart sunk as Hanji walked in and checked your bruises and cuts. She then lead you to a dark room in the cellars, it made you feel uneasy, even more so when you saw the titan chamber next to it.

"No need to worry ___, I just need to ask you a few questions, talk and such." You hesitantly sat in the chair as Hanji sat opposite you, a table between you both; you also saw Erwin in the back as you looked down at the grubby floor.

"_____, tell me why you're here?" You looked up at her confused but you answered anyway.

"Well, to help humanity I guess." Hanji nodded as she wrote down notes, you still didn't know why there were titans behind you as you looked back nervously, it's beady eyes dead on you.

"Don't look at them." You nodded as you turned back, Hanji looked more serious.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked in the cold silence, Hanji didn't answer, she just pressed for more information.

"Tell me, who are your friends?" Only three people came to mind, but you didn't want to know them right now, biting your lower lip you shook your head faking ignorance. Hanji leaned forward.

"Tell me." You looked her dead in the eyes as you gulped loudly.

"A-annie....Bert and....and....R-riener...." You instantly looked away as you wiped the forming tears from your eyes, Hanji saw but she remained emotionless.

"I want to know about your family." Your eyes widened.

"What?"

"Your mother?" Your eyes widened, she was delving too deep, you ignored her, you didn't want to tell her, she didn't need to know.

"She hated you, didn't she?" You looked towards her as you gasped slightly; you shook your head more.

"N-no...stop."

"Your father?"

"Please....stop." Your head began to throb as you tangled your fingers in your hair, you felt like your skull was going to split in two.

"Your sister?"

"H-hanji...i-it hurts." Your voice was weak but she persisted, Erwin opened the door and walked in taking a seat in the corner, what was this? An interrogation?

"She died a while back did she not?"

"D-don't...I-I can't...s-stop."

"By the armoured titan." You remembered as tears began to flow down your face you hicced as you pulled on your hair.

"Stop it."

"By Reiner Braun." That was it, your mind snapped.

"STOP IT!" Your voice rose to a pitch you'd never heard before as there was a loud crash behind you, the titan had smashed its fist into the stone as the ground jumped, you fell out of the chair and hit the floor; you was shaking as you curled into a ball and sobbed. You felt some ones hand on your back, rubbing it as your muscles slowly intense.

"I'm sorry, I knew I'd hurt you by going through with it." You shook you head as you looked at her with puffy eyes and tears streaming down your face.

"It h-hurts so much....b-burning." Erwin kneeled beside you.

"Where?" He asked.

"M-my head, i-it's going to s-split in two." After about half an hour of sitting in silence and four painkillers the head ache was gone, now Hanji wanted you to move onto 'stage two'. You had no idea what she was planning, but it involved running, so she asked you to wear your trainers.

"Ok run." You looked at her oddly.

"Run?"

"Aim to run until the end and bite your hand midway." Your eyes widened and looked down.

"Turn into a titan?" She nodded as you remembered your own fear of the monsters, let alone the hate that had dwelled in your hears for over five years, then your weakness that was your childhood friends, you needed to forget them, everything, even the fact that, no matter how hard you tried to deny it, Reiner killed your younger sister. Nodding, you ran along the training ground, you saw Mikasa and the others in the distance, watching, without Eren or Ymir. You sped up as you brought your hand to your mouth.

"(S/N).....You didn't die in vain." White hot pain shot into your brain as you bit viciously into the flesh of your hand, but your teeth wouldn't go through so you bit harder until the metallic taste filled your mouth, you continued to run but your legs buckled in pain as you fell to your knees but nothing happened.

"AHHHH....DAMN IT ALL!" You screamed as you bit harder and harder, blood staining your mouth, arms, shirt and ground in a deep red while the skin burned your mouth as it steamed, like a titan's. Hanji caught up with you and put a hand on your shoulder.

"_____....Let's try later." You shook your head, no, you couldn't give up now, if you gave up now, you'd never be able to kill him. Your head began to hurt again as you remembered your past, your father was clouded out of it however, you never knew why, until now.

"NO! I'm g-going to avenge her...m-make him pay! Agh....Ahhh." You clutched your head again with a bloody hand, the pain was hot, like a burning or a tear as it ripped the inside of your head, you screamed in pain and tears as Hanji hugged you.

"IT HURTS!" She rubbed your back while you continued to wail and sob.

"Shhh, I know, I know." She drew circles on your back until the pain consumed you into darkness; you collapsed into her arms as tears rolled down your cheeks.

'I'm a monster...a beast.'

__________

"Wait, Hanji do you mea-"

"...lf titan?"

"When....wi...ake...up?"

You drifted in and out on sleep as you tried to sit up, but all you felt was burning, intense burning. The world was blurry around you but you could just make out the messy hair of Hanji, she was instantly by your side.

"Hey ____! You ok?" You nodded meekly feeling as if you spoke you would throw up, Hanji must have got the message because she handed you a bucket that was placed by the door. You nodded a quick thanks and then noticed corporal Levi was in the room.

"Oi Brat, I heard you're a titan. Care to explain." It wasn't a question, it was a demand. Swallowing the bile in your throat and taking a quick glance at Hanj,i you spoke.

"Sir...I don't know what I am anymore..." You muttered, he raised an eyebrow and walked over to your bedside.

"Now Levi, Don't do anything rash-" Hanji tried to make Levi keep his distance but he kept pacing forward.

"There must be something." He growled, why was he acting like this? Was it because another 'titan' was in his ranks? He eventually backed off and let out a loud sigh.

"To think there was another one..." He grumbled before stalking out of the room, in the few silent seconds that followed, Hanji chuckled nervously and helped you sit up properly in the bed you were currently in.

"Don't worry ____, he's just grumpy is all. Let me catch you up on what you've missed." You nodded slightly as she handed you a glass of water which you gladly took.

__________

"So...that's it." An hour or so later, Hanji had wrapped up everything about you being half titan, even though you didn't really understand you nodded all the same. 

"So I need to figure out how to turn into a titan?" Hanji nodded as you slowly stood up and stretched your tired and aching body, the brunette beside you raised an eyebrow and you cracked a small grin.

"Let's train then!" Hanji shared a wide grin with you as you both paced out of the dank room.

__________

A few days later everyone set out on an operation to return Eren and Ymir back to the walls, even though you hadn't gotten full control over your powers, you were an asset all the same and no time could go to waste just waiting for you. As the entire Survey corps rode out the armoured titan was in site, along with another who you presumed was Ymir, around them various other titans of all sizes, but you blocked them out completely, your eyes bore into the armoured titan with hate.

"Cadet _____." Erwin said as he rode up beside you, taking the hint you urged your horse ahead of everyone else and jumped into the air, latching your 3DMG onto different titans just to get close to Reiner.

"What's she doing?!" Hanji yelped as Levi clicked his tongue.

"She wants him to know." He muttered, his eyes shining slightly despite his bored expression. 

You got just close enough into the arnoured titans line of vision as you saw it's golden eyes pinpoint onto you, the other titan about to swat you out of the air.

"Reiner..." You muttered darkly as you unlatched your 3DMG and let gravity take over, raising your hand to your mouth.

"You'll pay." Pain shot though you and light consumed you as you transformed.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

"Don't laugh at me but....it reminds me of big bro..." 

"Big bro?" 

"She means Reiner." 

"Thank you big bro!" 

"No problem ______"


End file.
